Memories of Life
I’ve wanted to write something about life and the rites and passages that we all go through on our way to eternal life but I never could quite figure out where to start. There are so many memories, mostly good, but some bad or at the very least still not understood.
But yesterday, the 19th was a strange day. And now it’s the 20th at 3:25 in the morning and I’ve been lying in bed trying to go to sleep, but feel the need to write what has been in my head all day, so here I am and I think I’ve finally found a starting point.
It starts with my life in the present because that’s where I am and the things that happen on a daily basis bring back the memories that have long been forgotten or stored.
The day started normally enough, getting kids off to school, checking my email, reading the news and finally getting myself together to participate in the rest of the day’s activities. The rest of the day's events started the old brain humming, hence the inability to sleep.
I tried calling my oldest son in NY, but never got him. It seems strange that he is so far away, yet so close in my heart. He was always the guinea pig for all the new and wonderful things that happen when you raise children. And he suffered through my anxieties over every new thing he did that each time pulled him just a bit further away from my apron strings. The first walk to a friend’s house. The first time he rode his bike on the busy street to the corner store. The first to pull out of the driveway with his new/old car and his new driver’s license in hand. I lit a candle and white-knuckled it until he pulled safely back into the driveway. The first to graduate, leave home and make his way as an adult. He comes home, but it can never be the same. He’s at the same place and age in his life as my husband was when he entered law school some 30 years ago. And although he hopefully will continue to come home when he can, he has entered the adult world and will continue there as long as God allows.
Then I tried my 2nd son and he never answered. He will graduate in May from college and although he made my life a nightmare on occasions (I think burning the kitchen down was the biggie), God has given him wonderful gifts of great talents. He was a slow learner as an infant and toddler but once he got going the world was and still is, his. He’ll make a name for himself, not in the way that his older brother will but through his passion and love for the arts.
I tried calling my oldest daughter and no luck there. She too is far away from home and making her mark on the world. She has much to offer to a still unknown place in our society, but in God’s time she’ll find that place and she’ll conquer people’s hearts with her love for everyone, great or small, rich or poor.
I then put my efforts into helping my 4th child pack for a trip to That Anonymous College. That’s right folks; she’ll be invading the campus Saturday afternoon through Tuesday to decide if it’s a place she might like to attend college when she graduates HS this May. She is very intelligent and loving, but still a HS student and trying to find where she fits in the scheme of God’s plans for all of us. We put her on Amtrak at 7:15 p.m. and she gets into Ventura around 2-3 p.m. Good luck!!!
And tonight, the hardest part of my day. My 15 year old daughter, the baby, got her driver’s license. And at 11:30 p.m. she and her friend decided that they just had to have Wendy’s. I watched as she drove down the street for the first time without an adult and prayed until they pulled safely back into the driveway. Full circle from when I watched my oldest do the same almost 9 years ago.
I've now reached the time in my life where there will be no more children and the only babies I'll get to hug will be my grandchildren (hopeful sigh) or children of friends. But that's okay, I have been and will continue to be blessed by our children. And the feeling of holding them in my arms is still there at night in my memories when I dream of all the years that have passed.
To all of you who have recently married or have been married for awhile and have or will be starting families, I wish you fond memories and much love and patience because it will definitely be needed.
Just remember, when life gives you lemons, break out the tequila and salt!
I hope to write more later, but life comes before blogging, so it might take a little while. Good Night!
But yesterday, the 19th was a strange day. And now it’s the 20th at 3:25 in the morning and I’ve been lying in bed trying to go to sleep, but feel the need to write what has been in my head all day, so here I am and I think I’ve finally found a starting point.
It starts with my life in the present because that’s where I am and the things that happen on a daily basis bring back the memories that have long been forgotten or stored.
The day started normally enough, getting kids off to school, checking my email, reading the news and finally getting myself together to participate in the rest of the day’s activities. The rest of the day's events started the old brain humming, hence the inability to sleep.
I tried calling my oldest son in NY, but never got him. It seems strange that he is so far away, yet so close in my heart. He was always the guinea pig for all the new and wonderful things that happen when you raise children. And he suffered through my anxieties over every new thing he did that each time pulled him just a bit further away from my apron strings. The first walk to a friend’s house. The first time he rode his bike on the busy street to the corner store. The first to pull out of the driveway with his new/old car and his new driver’s license in hand. I lit a candle and white-knuckled it until he pulled safely back into the driveway. The first to graduate, leave home and make his way as an adult. He comes home, but it can never be the same. He’s at the same place and age in his life as my husband was when he entered law school some 30 years ago. And although he hopefully will continue to come home when he can, he has entered the adult world and will continue there as long as God allows.
Then I tried my 2nd son and he never answered. He will graduate in May from college and although he made my life a nightmare on occasions (I think burning the kitchen down was the biggie), God has given him wonderful gifts of great talents. He was a slow learner as an infant and toddler but once he got going the world was and still is, his. He’ll make a name for himself, not in the way that his older brother will but through his passion and love for the arts.
I tried calling my oldest daughter and no luck there. She too is far away from home and making her mark on the world. She has much to offer to a still unknown place in our society, but in God’s time she’ll find that place and she’ll conquer people’s hearts with her love for everyone, great or small, rich or poor.
I then put my efforts into helping my 4th child pack for a trip to That Anonymous College. That’s right folks; she’ll be invading the campus Saturday afternoon through Tuesday to decide if it’s a place she might like to attend college when she graduates HS this May. She is very intelligent and loving, but still a HS student and trying to find where she fits in the scheme of God’s plans for all of us. We put her on Amtrak at 7:15 p.m. and she gets into Ventura around 2-3 p.m. Good luck!!!
And tonight, the hardest part of my day. My 15 year old daughter, the baby, got her driver’s license. And at 11:30 p.m. she and her friend decided that they just had to have Wendy’s. I watched as she drove down the street for the first time without an adult and prayed until they pulled safely back into the driveway. Full circle from when I watched my oldest do the same almost 9 years ago.
I've now reached the time in my life where there will be no more children and the only babies I'll get to hug will be my grandchildren (hopeful sigh) or children of friends. But that's okay, I have been and will continue to be blessed by our children. And the feeling of holding them in my arms is still there at night in my memories when I dream of all the years that have passed.
To all of you who have recently married or have been married for awhile and have or will be starting families, I wish you fond memories and much love and patience because it will definitely be needed.
Just remember, when life gives you lemons, break out the tequila and salt!
I hope to write more later, but life comes before blogging, so it might take a little while. Good Night!
posted by Kitty at 3:25 AM
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